I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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