You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
