So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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