The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
