I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
