He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
