i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
