Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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