Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
