they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
