He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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