Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
