the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
