Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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