So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You pole danced in your parka.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
