How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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