it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you never un-have a 4some
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
