it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Two words: blizzard sex
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
