Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A+ Viking dick
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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