So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
