That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
