i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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