I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
