somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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