She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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