you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize