god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
