Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
