also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
