I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I sprained my soul last night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
