He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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