i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You smell like stripper and shame
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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