saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
