Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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