I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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