The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
