6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
