I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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