her vagine was all disorganized.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
