Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize