Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
