I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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