My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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