i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize