i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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