go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
