worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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