Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
