so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
