Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
