I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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