I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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