just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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