people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
