I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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