a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
