he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
