i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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