yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize