I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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