even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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