dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This girl is more easily done than said...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
